2019. It seems so cliché to be writing about the year. But now that I feel settled in Tucson, I have been thinking about how to spend my time. Three simple events impacted my thinking this week. It’s simply time to share.

I’ve been working at Anthropologie for several months now. On Friday, this lovely and friendly customer (we call them guests) was putting amazing outfits together in the fitting rooms. Brenda had a great eye, great taste, and a creative vibe. As we chatted, I discovered she is a printmaker who moved to Tucson two years ago from Santa Fe. Her story was so honest. She hasn’t created in over a year and a half. Her printing press didn’t fit in the studio at her new home in Tucson. She is renting studio space that doesn’t inspire her, so she doesn’t go there. Her organic, environmentally safe chemicals for her printmaking process aren’t working successfully. Her mother-in-law passed away this year. Her mother has Alzheimer’s disease. Her adult daughter had major surgery and is slowly recovering. She said, “It’s just easier to take a photo and put it on Instagram, and get more satisfaction from that, than working so hard to create.” Hmmm. I absolutely understood Brenda and her challenges and her reality. At times in life we get so torn down, it’s hard to function, and the energy we need to create just doesn’t exist consistently. By the time she left, I had Brenda’s business card and she agreed to join me on an art date in Tucson. But she really left an impact on me. I have been finding reasons not to create (hike, cook, read, kitchen remodel, work, soccer, swim, etc). I do have time and I need to make it happen. My problem is that I am scared and not sure where to begin again. What direction do I want to take? My conversation with Brenda told me I needed to get over this fear freezing me. Artists are funny about our work being accepted and we really take a personal risk putting our work out into the world. Truly, it isn’t just artists. Everyone is taking a risk to put themselves out there: to make friends, to go to the gym, to find a new job, to find a relationship, to move into a new home or a new city. We can’t let fear slow us down. So, I met Brenda on Friday.

On Saturday, I hiked Picacho Peak with my sister Stephanie. We knew it was going to be a challenge. It’s a four-mile hike that takes four hours. My husband reminded me to bring gloves for the steel cables we would need to hold for the hike, so I grabbed my gardening gloves. For some reason, his suggestion didn’t register that it might be rather steep. I was thinking the steel cables would be horizontal, and not VERTICAL. I hike quite a bit, but I fear heights, so usually I take a pretty wide path to stay in my comfort level. And let me tell you, hiking Picacho Peak on Saturday took me completely out of that comfort level. The peak rises 1,500 feet from the desert floor. Little did I know I would be holding on to numerous sets of steel cables, climbing up faces of rock with only cables to hold onto, and nothing on the other side.

My palms were sweaty, and I couldn’t look down.  I wasn’t sure I would make it to the top. Stephanie was so calm and encouraging, and seemingly fearless! When we reached the peak, I joked that I wasn’t sure how I was going to hike down. Stephanie reminded me that fear can be controlled. Mind over matter. We need to think through things wisely. Be calm. Use discipline. We headed down the peak, which was MUCH easier, but still intimidating!  We laughed when a small plane flew through the sky below us.  

Hours later at the car, we celebrated our hike. We both overcame challenges, uncertainly and fear. We felt accomplished. We were psyched.  We joked about hiking it again another time.  And I was reminded, once again, that I need to face my fears head on, in life and in art. I must take risks to accomplish my goals.

The third event that impacted me this week was a VLOG inspiration that I watched this morning from a webinar course. The main point of the VLOG was this, “The things that we love are the things that matter most. Do them first.” So simple and so true.  Why waste time? This VLOG is part of a webinar course that I am taking with one of my dearest life-long friends. This month, Amy asked me to be her accountability buddy for a one-year webinar for goal setting in areas of life. My first thought was the fear of letting Amy down. Would I make the time to take care of my part of the deal? Will I be present and honest and hard working for the year, for my friend and for myself? And what will I learn about myself? What if I fail at my goals? This, once again, is fear. And I have set it aside.

Because it is time to be honest with myself. It’s time to take risks. It’s time to paint and not just post photos on Instagram. It’s time to climb mountains, even when I am hanging on for dear life. It’s time to trust others when they tell you where to put your feet on the rocks. It is time to be present for others and to let them be present for me. And it’s time to enjoy my shed and enjoy creating, just for myself and not for others. It’s time to do what I love, even if it can be frightening. And thanks to reminders from Brenda, Stephanie, and Amy, I know I don’t have to accomplish my dreams and goals alone.