If at first you don’t succeed, re-address, re-assess, and then get back to the drawing board.  I set a lofty personal goal for 2013.  My goal was a secret artistic outreach project, to mail 50 small artworks to strangers in need of an uplifting surprise.  I wanted to create something meaningful, and to share unexpected gifts of happiness.  I wouldn’t sign my name, and I didn’t tell anyone – not even my husband. I called my project CReATe Happiness 2013, and I thought I had developed a pretty good plan…but it didn’t go exactly as I had dreamed.  About  mid-year, I thought about giving up on the whole thing and marking it down as a huge failure.  I’m glad I didn’t.

Initially, I had to decide where to begin.  I started by calling my three sisters, who live in three different parts of the United States, and asking them for names of friends or acquaintances who were feeling down or suffering for any reason – stress, illness or loss.  The stories my sisters provided were moving.  By March, I had created and mailed 9 collaged paintings.  With each painting, I sent an unsigned note to each recipient explaining CReATe Happiness 2013, and asking them to provide CReATe Happiness with the name and address of a friend who might need some uplifting.  Sharing their friend’s story was optional.  Envelopes and stamps were included.

I thought my idea was outstanding, and I eagerly anticipated responses.  After weeks of waiting, I received only four responses from those initial nine recipients, asking me to share my artwork with their own friends.  It was really a beautiful thing.  I was incredibly inspired. But in the back of my mind,  I was concerned.  Will people open a strange package received in their mail? Will these requests scare people?  Will they think my heartfelt project is some cheesy chain letter scam?  I tried to think positively.

Each artwork was carefully created for the recipient based on the story I had received.  I painted about faith for a mother who had lost her 16 year-old son in an ATV accident.  I created about hope for a full-time professional wife who has been patiently caring for her ill husband for decades.  I collaged about strength for a couple who lost both of their adult children in one month, and are now raising their grandchild.  I painted love for a working mother who is single-handedly raising an autistic daughter.  I created about belief for a couple who had lost their teenage daughter to suicide.  I crafteded an angel for a mother who was a full-time care-giver to her mother while raising her three young children. I collaged a wildflower for a woman who lost her home and everything it contained in a Colorado forest fire. The few letters I received were beautifully emotional and tear-jerking. I was overwhelmed with the stories that strangers entrusted to me.  They will never know my name or where their small canvas came from.  It doesn’t matter.

Over the first half of 2013, I had only received ten responses to my mailings.  I was disappointed and felt like a failure.   It was tough, but instead of giving up, I re-addressed my true goal, which was to create and send happiness.  So, I secretly mailed paintings to people who have inspired me in my life:  my high school field hockey coach who was retiring after many years of dedicated coaching, a friend who was launching a photography business, my husband’s administrative assistant in Las Vegas who was always thoughtful and dependable, my neighbor in Alaska, who guided me as I was starting my family (while she had five kids of her own), a Georgia mother whose husband is deployed for the year.  I mailed paintings to friends who ask me about my life and wait to hear the answer, to family members who struggle, and to lovely ladies who unconditionally befriended me when I was a military newcomer to their towns.  It was a great challenge to create something special for each individual, and I was artistically blocked many days, but it was completely worthwhile in the long run.

I admit it, I am ashamed that I failed my goal for fifty paintings.  And I can list plenty of excuses as to why I didn’t meet my goal.  But I won’t.  I am going to give myself a break, because this was the most uplifting failure I have ever experienced.  In my shortcomings, I touched lives.  I took time to contemplate others and not myself.  I grew as a person and an artist. In hearing other’s stories, I understood that my life is truly blessed. In the end, I mailed happiness to 18 strangers and 23 others.  I remain hopeful that recipients will respond, so I will reach my goal of 50 paintings in 2014.  Either way, I am certain that I will continue to send out happiness paintings from time to time. Doing so brings joy to my soul and to my life as an artist.